What is the Coming Out Experience like?

Authors: Dr. phil. Ulli Biechele, Dipl.-Psych. Margret Göth, Dipl.-Psych. Thomas Heinrich und Dipl.-Psych. Andrea Lang

The time around coming out is oftenan energy-filled timein which many changes take place. Some people experiencestrong emotional fluctuations or worry about their future life and plans.

Others holdthemselves back at first out of fear of others’ reactions. This can lead to strong feelings of loneliness and the feeling of being the only one in the whole world who feels this way. For similar reasons, some try to ignore or suppress their feelings, possibly even to the point that they reject themselves or hate themselves for their feelings.

In this case,it is important to try to break thisvicious cycle of negative thoughts and feelings. Even thoughnot all people who have feelings or erotic thoughts and fantasies about people of the same sex are automatically lesbian or gay or remain so for the rest of their lives, there is no scientific evidence that sexual orientation can be changed through therapy or similar practices.

Quite to the contrary, actually: all studies confirm that such attempts may indeed influence lived behaviors, i.e. suppress them, but lead to the danger of developing feelings of self-rejection, self-hatred, and low self-worth, as well as depression, anxiety and other psychological disorders.

Both professional bodies for psychiatrists and psychologists in the USA therefore reject such therapies and deem them unethical. The VLSP shares this view.